An Ear-Full
I have an ear wax issue. Which I've recently discovered is not an
uncommon thing. By that I mean I know one other person who has it.
Anyway I get a lot of wax and need to go to the doctor to get it out
through the use of a syringe and hot water. Which is at first
uncomfortable, but then feels very nice. Warm and tickly... After
doing this I can hear better than ever. Everything sounds really
trebley and even the sound of someone rustling paper can be really hard
to take...but it only lasts a couple days before it goes back to normal.
This story would be pretty boring if it wasnt for my recent gift from
Japan.
In Japan and other Asian countries to clean out your ears a lot of
people use something I call an ear spoon. Basically its a long stick
with a tiny scoop on the end of it. And it is brilliant. You can get
right in there and scoop out all the goo. And it feels really good
cause you can scratch your inner ear too...works a lot better than a
damn cue tip or what ever that thing is called. I used one of those
once and made my self temporarily deaf in one ear. Had to get driven to
the doctor straight away to be cleaned out cause I couldnt walk straight. Aaaaanyway...
I had one of these spoons years ago and used it regularly and my
hearing was better than ever. But alas I lost it. And when I went with
a friend to buy a new one from a Chinese supermarket, the people working
there at first pretended to not sell them...and then said. 'its not for
you!'. then told me of the dangers, but i said I still wanted it. So
they sold it to me. Sure enough I lost that about a week later and was too scared to go back...'excuse me I lost my danger spoon...'
But there is a happy end to this long winded story...My friend Ianto
recently returned from a holiday in Japan and he bought me an ear spoon
with a little Buddha, and a bell on the end. I cleaned out my ears last night and hear so well today. Look out muttery people, I CAN HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT ME NOW!
uncommon thing. By that I mean I know one other person who has it.
Anyway I get a lot of wax and need to go to the doctor to get it out
through the use of a syringe and hot water. Which is at first
uncomfortable, but then feels very nice. Warm and tickly... After
doing this I can hear better than ever. Everything sounds really
trebley and even the sound of someone rustling paper can be really hard
to take...but it only lasts a couple days before it goes back to normal.
This story would be pretty boring if it wasnt for my recent gift from
Japan.
In Japan and other Asian countries to clean out your ears a lot of
people use something I call an ear spoon. Basically its a long stick
with a tiny scoop on the end of it. And it is brilliant. You can get
right in there and scoop out all the goo. And it feels really good
cause you can scratch your inner ear too...works a lot better than a
damn cue tip or what ever that thing is called. I used one of those
once and made my self temporarily deaf in one ear. Had to get driven to
the doctor straight away to be cleaned out cause I couldnt walk straight. Aaaaanyway...
I had one of these spoons years ago and used it regularly and my
hearing was better than ever. But alas I lost it. And when I went with
a friend to buy a new one from a Chinese supermarket, the people working
there at first pretended to not sell them...and then said. 'its not for
you!'. then told me of the dangers, but i said I still wanted it. So
they sold it to me. Sure enough I lost that about a week later and was too scared to go back...'excuse me I lost my danger spoon...'
But there is a happy end to this long winded story...My friend Ianto
recently returned from a holiday in Japan and he bought me an ear spoon
with a little Buddha, and a bell on the end. I cleaned out my ears last night and hear so well today. Look out muttery people, I CAN HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT ME NOW!
posted by matt at 1:24 PM
7 Comments:
I kinda really want to borrow that spoon, but I'm not sure if that isn't completely disgusting.
Maybe you and your friend should start importing them for the whitey market.
I want Matts head to be served to me on a plate ( side on) And eat the wax out of his head ( with the new spoon) ... Hmm matt what's for dessert?
I know.... And you'll be able to hear my groaning much better too...
you should try ear candling. lie on your side, roll up a piece of paper and stick it in your ear so it's vertical and then light the paper. the wax should burn like a candle's wax. just remember to extinguish the paper before it reaches your head (and that im not a doctor and this shouldn't be taken as official medical advice).
matt, i love how of all your 'issues' you choose to talk about EAR WAX.
Take a closer look at yourself, my friend.
Ok these posts turn me on. Dude I will pay top dollar to spoon the wax out of your ear and eat it on the spot. Just one condition: it has to be oily orange earwax. Yellow, brown and sometimes gray wax tastes quite bitter. Orange oily earwax is the food of the gods. If your ears can manufacture at least a gram of wax a day, and you have one of them spoons, then i know of a way you can earn an extra 50-100 dollars a week.
money ey.... talk to me
i use hair bobby pins. my mum use to clean my ears out years ago with them. they work a treat. (ive never told anyone this before)
i feel cleansed or something - trust me tho it works!
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