Adelaide (s)Thinkers
Ive decided that I would like to be an 'Adelaide Thinker'. I want to get paid 300k a year to sit on my fat ass and think about ways of 'improving' our fair city.
I read an article recently about a Baroness who came to Adelaide to think and all she could come up with was that Science should be more important to us. THATS IT! Fuck off you dumb broad. If the government is that willing to pay for stupidity I think I should be the man to give it.
Ive had some great ideas to improve our society:
The Boyfriends Chair - for when you are shoppin with your female friends and you wanna sit down but cant cause there are no chairs in those horrible smelly shops...the boyfriends chair is there for you...complete with magazine rack and video games!
Carpeting the City - I developed this idea with friends (you see thats what being a thinker is all about, developing ideas with the locals and then stealing them) Imagine if the footpaths were carpeted. It would be so much nicer to walk around on. And the street bums would be more comfortable at night.
Moving the Central Markets Closer to my Work - If they were closer to my work I could go there in my lunch break.
Only Taxis on the Road - I had this great idea when I was a cab driver that only taxis and buses should be allowed on the road, oh and trucks, bikes and stuff, BUT NO PERSONAL CARS. That way there would be huge employment opportunities, Cabs would always be in work so they could charge less, Maybe the drivers could even get paid an hourly rate...with bonuses of course. This would free up congestion on the roads with a lot less cars around, AAAAAnd there would be no need for parking lots. Tonnes of extra space for things.
I should point out that if any government steals these ideas from me I will demand my $300k.
I read an article recently about a Baroness who came to Adelaide to think and all she could come up with was that Science should be more important to us. THATS IT! Fuck off you dumb broad. If the government is that willing to pay for stupidity I think I should be the man to give it.
Ive had some great ideas to improve our society:
The Boyfriends Chair - for when you are shoppin with your female friends and you wanna sit down but cant cause there are no chairs in those horrible smelly shops...the boyfriends chair is there for you...complete with magazine rack and video games!
Carpeting the City - I developed this idea with friends (you see thats what being a thinker is all about, developing ideas with the locals and then stealing them) Imagine if the footpaths were carpeted. It would be so much nicer to walk around on. And the street bums would be more comfortable at night.
Moving the Central Markets Closer to my Work - If they were closer to my work I could go there in my lunch break.
Only Taxis on the Road - I had this great idea when I was a cab driver that only taxis and buses should be allowed on the road, oh and trucks, bikes and stuff, BUT NO PERSONAL CARS. That way there would be huge employment opportunities, Cabs would always be in work so they could charge less, Maybe the drivers could even get paid an hourly rate...with bonuses of course. This would free up congestion on the roads with a lot less cars around, AAAAAnd there would be no need for parking lots. Tonnes of extra space for things.
I should point out that if any government steals these ideas from me I will demand my $300k.
posted by matt at 2:02 PM
2 Comments:
Hey, Nice ideas. I like the boyfriend chair. I totally love it!! Ahh an extra bonus would be to have the boyfriend chair right near the change rooms.... err so you can help your girlfriend choose clothing?
There's one of those chairs at that huge shoe shop in Harbor Town. It's got a drinks machine and sports on TV.
Like all good ideas, it's been stolen and done already.
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