Urban Style.
So my band is playing 2 gigs this weekend. Friday at Fowlers and Saturday at The Exeter, if anyone is interested...
I have a bad feeling im gonna have to play in an eye patch tho..as my stye has gotten even more puffy. I assume when i wake up tomorrow it will be closed over. At work today people have been all looking at me funny but noone has said anything.
At least I can find that part amusing.
If anyone has any cures for styes, apart from rubbing pure gold on it, im all ears!
A non-stye related story:
Yesterday as I was walking to my bus after work an old couple stopped me and asked me where a building in the University was. I didnt know and had never heard of the building which is sorta unusual as I work and the Uni and know a bit about it now...anyway I told the lady I didnt know where it was.
The man then said to his wife in a semi hushed and annoyed tone 'of course he doenst know, look at him!'
I was shocked and appalled! LOOK AT ME!? What the hell about my appearance implies that I dont know anything about Universitys. Hell I have been compared to Tom Hanks and Ben Affleck in terms of appearance. Both very clean cut guys...But it got me thinking, maybe my look is a little too 'street'. I wear hoodies, jeans and black sneakers. Maybe I should mix it up with a little 'Urban Professional'. Get some of those horrible shirts that have paint thrown all over them and random words like 'staples' and 'fuckwit' scattered all over them. Then make sure its got some shit hangin off it so it looks like its gonna fall apart in the wash. Then maybe Ill just rub a dog turd through my hair so it looks all messed up, but in a cool way. And while im at it Ill buy some jeans that look like they have been worn by a man who only bends above the knee for a year or more.
MAYBE THEN I will look like someone who knows where a fuking useless building is!
I have a bad feeling im gonna have to play in an eye patch tho..as my stye has gotten even more puffy. I assume when i wake up tomorrow it will be closed over. At work today people have been all looking at me funny but noone has said anything.
At least I can find that part amusing.
If anyone has any cures for styes, apart from rubbing pure gold on it, im all ears!
A non-stye related story:
Yesterday as I was walking to my bus after work an old couple stopped me and asked me where a building in the University was. I didnt know and had never heard of the building which is sorta unusual as I work and the Uni and know a bit about it now...anyway I told the lady I didnt know where it was.
The man then said to his wife in a semi hushed and annoyed tone 'of course he doenst know, look at him!'
I was shocked and appalled! LOOK AT ME!? What the hell about my appearance implies that I dont know anything about Universitys. Hell I have been compared to Tom Hanks and Ben Affleck in terms of appearance. Both very clean cut guys...But it got me thinking, maybe my look is a little too 'street'. I wear hoodies, jeans and black sneakers. Maybe I should mix it up with a little 'Urban Professional'. Get some of those horrible shirts that have paint thrown all over them and random words like 'staples' and 'fuckwit' scattered all over them. Then make sure its got some shit hangin off it so it looks like its gonna fall apart in the wash. Then maybe Ill just rub a dog turd through my hair so it looks all messed up, but in a cool way. And while im at it Ill buy some jeans that look like they have been worn by a man who only bends above the knee for a year or more.
MAYBE THEN I will look like someone who knows where a fuking useless building is!
posted by matt at 11:59 AM
11 Comments:
matt, once i had a stye and my grandma gave me rose water on a cloth or tissue or something to make the swelling go down. And it worked.
you comformist pig dog!
we're playing at the exeter on saturday night. the exeter.
every man needs another pair of shoes
youre meant to bathe youre eye in salt water... so, go get an egg cup, dissolve a little salt in some warm water (not too much salt, not too warm, but make sure it is dissolved..) and then hold it firmly against your face (over your eye) and blink. Lots.
It will sting, but it's meant to...
I feel like such a mum. Hope it helps.
oh god, don't you dare do that! you might as well crush up a stinkbug and rub it in your eye! my god, what kind of a doctor ARE you???
if you dont believe me, google it.
...because you know u can trust google.
"Sty: A used tea bag which is still warm, applied to the sty overnight will help greatly."
i still like the salt in the eye thing better. meh, theyre not my eyes.
thanks for all the tips.
i did the tea bag thing last night. seemed the easiest thing to do.
felt really wierd. like a wet testicle on my face.
eye is bit better today, but not fixed...on the mend tho!
I think you look kind of like a grandpa. i had heard you described as the "fattest man in rock" and was surprised when I saw you were actually quite slim. can I suggest a short, angualr haircut, and cutting down on the white bread.
Ha! This cracked me up! It's always those offhand random comments that make you go "What??" So bizarre. I think you should post a photo of yourself on here so we can ALL judge you. :)
im a very famous man, if you want to find my picture all you need to do is search the internet and you will find me in all sorts of amusing situations
i think petstarr has likely already done the math,
dude...
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