The Tour Diary
What a weekend. Here is a rundown of the events of the tour with my band to Melbourne.
Got up at 530 on Saturday morning. Felt awful. I had a dream where
Ianto had been raped. It was pretty upsetting. Nic and Ianto arrived
with the hired van at 6ish, I told Ianto about the rape dream and he said 'great way to start the day'. Ianto spent the rest of the tour worried about being raped somewhere along the way. James, Steph and I crawled in, picked up Steve and we took off.
The van was great. Big Toyota Tarago. Very roomy. We were all taking
turns driving and all talkin lots of shit so the time was passing
quickly. Steve started off the trip by doing one of the most stinky farts I have ever smelt. I felt sorry for poor Steph who copped the full force of it. Apparently Steves girlfriend, Yasmin, had fed him a bag of prunes the night before. I assume as some sort of cruel sabotage on us. Well she may have one this round...but i will get her back.
There were no major problems on the drive. Nic had terrible gas which he blamed on sitting funny. I blamed it on the cheese burgers he ate every 5 minutes. Ianto was in my books the worst driver in the car. But the most entertaining driver was Steve with Nic as his navigator. Nic crapped in his ear the whole time about whether or not nearby cars were full of fat people or not. He also tried to explain to Steve how to 'take cars on'.
Nic also told us of his film idea, which involved an elaborate wanking gag...oh good times.
We arrived in Melbourne at about 5 and were greeted by the lovely Henry and Mel. Got our crap and took it to the venue. The venue was nice. had a backstagey kinda room and a curtain around the stage. The gig was sold out so that was kinda exciting already.
Went to some yupie pub for dinner. Ianto had just chips...yet again. I noticed that several times during the trip the only thing Ianto would eat would be Chips. What a bland diet that man has. And he was always telling me off about the food I ate...sorry if i enjoy FLAVOUR!
After this we all arrived at venue and set crap up and did the boring things that bands do before gigs. Nic was buzzing. Kept tellin us all how amazing we were gonna be, he should really be hired as a hype man for some sporting team... James enjoyed a nice calamari meal while we set up most of the gear...well he helped at the very end...hehe.
The show itself went very well, When the band took to the stage people clapped. Before we had even played a note! It was weird. We rocked out hard, people stood up. The room was packed and hot as hell. Steve was lookin queasy but shone through. I started to get some horrible reflux thing where every time i sung loud a bit of spew would burp up into my mouth. It was pretty gross. Straight after the gig Steve apparently threw up twice...so maybe we ate something bad or something.
Steph got very drunk and caused a ruckus. I had to calm her down. She didnt take to that too well.
Art of Fighting played and were very nice but I felt a little sorry for them playing after us...I mean we are a hard act to follow...being the best band in the world and all. They were very nice to us. Told us to join them in drinking their scotch. I had a small glass full but couldnt handle it. Was too strong. Henry tried some too. We are both weak men.
We soon went home and to bed. Steve, Ianto and I were staying at Henry and Mels house...the others were off being jerks somewhere else. Poor Ianto didnt get hardly any sleep due to my snoring. He described the sound of my snoring as sounding like a 'snake eating a pig'. Im a little distressed by that. But hell I never hear it so what do I care?!
The next morning only James, Me, Ianto and Steve drove back. As the other two stayed on. It was a nice trip. Steve and I took a shit in Mcdonalds without buying any food from there. We felt it was bringing down the establishment. We listened to a radio play about Dina Washington and then we all decided we were feeling quite smart and then listened to Mozarts 'Don Giovanni'. What a bunch of wankers we were...Well i think it was James' fault.
Only just got the Van back to the hire place in time. well got there 15 mins late, but hopefully that dont matter...
and went home. Was a fun time...indeed.
Got up at 530 on Saturday morning. Felt awful. I had a dream where
Ianto had been raped. It was pretty upsetting. Nic and Ianto arrived
with the hired van at 6ish, I told Ianto about the rape dream and he said 'great way to start the day'. Ianto spent the rest of the tour worried about being raped somewhere along the way. James, Steph and I crawled in, picked up Steve and we took off.
The van was great. Big Toyota Tarago. Very roomy. We were all taking
turns driving and all talkin lots of shit so the time was passing
quickly. Steve started off the trip by doing one of the most stinky farts I have ever smelt. I felt sorry for poor Steph who copped the full force of it. Apparently Steves girlfriend, Yasmin, had fed him a bag of prunes the night before. I assume as some sort of cruel sabotage on us. Well she may have one this round...but i will get her back.
There were no major problems on the drive. Nic had terrible gas which he blamed on sitting funny. I blamed it on the cheese burgers he ate every 5 minutes. Ianto was in my books the worst driver in the car. But the most entertaining driver was Steve with Nic as his navigator. Nic crapped in his ear the whole time about whether or not nearby cars were full of fat people or not. He also tried to explain to Steve how to 'take cars on'.
Nic also told us of his film idea, which involved an elaborate wanking gag...oh good times.
We arrived in Melbourne at about 5 and were greeted by the lovely Henry and Mel. Got our crap and took it to the venue. The venue was nice. had a backstagey kinda room and a curtain around the stage. The gig was sold out so that was kinda exciting already.
Went to some yupie pub for dinner. Ianto had just chips...yet again. I noticed that several times during the trip the only thing Ianto would eat would be Chips. What a bland diet that man has. And he was always telling me off about the food I ate...sorry if i enjoy FLAVOUR!
After this we all arrived at venue and set crap up and did the boring things that bands do before gigs. Nic was buzzing. Kept tellin us all how amazing we were gonna be, he should really be hired as a hype man for some sporting team... James enjoyed a nice calamari meal while we set up most of the gear...well he helped at the very end...hehe.
The show itself went very well, When the band took to the stage people clapped. Before we had even played a note! It was weird. We rocked out hard, people stood up. The room was packed and hot as hell. Steve was lookin queasy but shone through. I started to get some horrible reflux thing where every time i sung loud a bit of spew would burp up into my mouth. It was pretty gross. Straight after the gig Steve apparently threw up twice...so maybe we ate something bad or something.
Steph got very drunk and caused a ruckus. I had to calm her down. She didnt take to that too well.
Art of Fighting played and were very nice but I felt a little sorry for them playing after us...I mean we are a hard act to follow...being the best band in the world and all. They were very nice to us. Told us to join them in drinking their scotch. I had a small glass full but couldnt handle it. Was too strong. Henry tried some too. We are both weak men.
We soon went home and to bed. Steve, Ianto and I were staying at Henry and Mels house...the others were off being jerks somewhere else. Poor Ianto didnt get hardly any sleep due to my snoring. He described the sound of my snoring as sounding like a 'snake eating a pig'. Im a little distressed by that. But hell I never hear it so what do I care?!
The next morning only James, Me, Ianto and Steve drove back. As the other two stayed on. It was a nice trip. Steve and I took a shit in Mcdonalds without buying any food from there. We felt it was bringing down the establishment. We listened to a radio play about Dina Washington and then we all decided we were feeling quite smart and then listened to Mozarts 'Don Giovanni'. What a bunch of wankers we were...Well i think it was James' fault.
Only just got the Van back to the hire place in time. well got there 15 mins late, but hopefully that dont matter...
and went home. Was a fun time...indeed.
posted by matt at 2:07 PM
2 Comments:
Dinah Washington RULES.
I can't believe you can make a potentially exciting trip into a boring saga...good job matt.
In other news, you should play again here soon.
effie x
all i ever see YOU eat is chips. and gross stuff out of a can. you're like me five years ago! but not, well, hot.
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