A Marvelous Wanker.
So there has been a severe lack of funnies on this site lately. Blood donation and job searches? Cmon what the hell was I thinking. Have I forgotten about you, the dear reader? Rest assured I have not. I have just been suffering from a form of writers block. Or as I prefer to call it, a non-eventful life.
'But arnt you some sort of famous super star? Surely everyday is full of adventures.' You all ask in disbelief...Alas this is not the case.
However I have had a couple of mini adventures or incidences over the past couple weeks that I shall fill you in on.
- I saw a guy taking a piss at a urinal who was swigging on a bottle of coke whilst doing so. One hand was on his willy the other on the coke. It was quite disturbing, especially when his piss (which I was downstream from) was bright orange. He then needed to hold the bottle in his mouth to do the 'shake' and left without washing his hands.
- Whilst driving down a street near my house a car almost drove into me by backing out of the driveway without looking. I made sure they knew about it by beeping them several times in a very annoying fashion whilst driving slowly past. After about the 5th beep the banshee inside the car screamed 'I CAN HEAR THAT!!!'. She sounded very irate. It was quite entertaining. I love causing road rage. Works very well if you flip someone off. Ive been yelled at at the lights several times after a good flip. Most of them Ive flipped off again during the telling off.
Nothing better than seeing a bald faced wanker go red when you wave at him.
- Hung out at a swanky place called the Treasury. The guy who worked there had to clear the courtyard but I kept goin out there to smoke. He kept telling me to come back inside to which I said I didnt want to make people die from passive smoke. He still told me to come inside. I then proceeded to rant to him about the dangers of passive smoke whilst I smoked away. He didnt think I was making any sense. I was quite drunk. He told me off a few times that night. Was a nice chap tho.
- Also have just been called a 'Marvelous Wanker' in print. I guess its official.
hmmmm. This might not be up to the usual standard of Dempsey...but stay with me. Something interesting is bound to happen to me, or piss me off soon enough...
'But arnt you some sort of famous super star? Surely everyday is full of adventures.' You all ask in disbelief...Alas this is not the case.
However I have had a couple of mini adventures or incidences over the past couple weeks that I shall fill you in on.
- I saw a guy taking a piss at a urinal who was swigging on a bottle of coke whilst doing so. One hand was on his willy the other on the coke. It was quite disturbing, especially when his piss (which I was downstream from) was bright orange. He then needed to hold the bottle in his mouth to do the 'shake' and left without washing his hands.
- Whilst driving down a street near my house a car almost drove into me by backing out of the driveway without looking. I made sure they knew about it by beeping them several times in a very annoying fashion whilst driving slowly past. After about the 5th beep the banshee inside the car screamed 'I CAN HEAR THAT!!!'. She sounded very irate. It was quite entertaining. I love causing road rage. Works very well if you flip someone off. Ive been yelled at at the lights several times after a good flip. Most of them Ive flipped off again during the telling off.
Nothing better than seeing a bald faced wanker go red when you wave at him.
- Hung out at a swanky place called the Treasury. The guy who worked there had to clear the courtyard but I kept goin out there to smoke. He kept telling me to come back inside to which I said I didnt want to make people die from passive smoke. He still told me to come inside. I then proceeded to rant to him about the dangers of passive smoke whilst I smoked away. He didnt think I was making any sense. I was quite drunk. He told me off a few times that night. Was a nice chap tho.
- Also have just been called a 'Marvelous Wanker' in print. I guess its official.
hmmmm. This might not be up to the usual standard of Dempsey...but stay with me. Something interesting is bound to happen to me, or piss me off soon enough...
posted by matt at 3:12 PM
2 Comments:
boring life...boring face.
well, little did we know that you would cause such distress to the kind staff of the swanky establishment that is the treasury... things you read on people's blogs that you missed in real life hmmm...
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