Unusual Fears
Im gonna start off by saying that yes I am a wuss and yes I am scared of spiders. They are horrible creatures spawned by the devil.
But its not that odd or interesting to be scared of spiders. Lots of people are, some much more than me. This one is about 'unusual fears'. For me my unusual fear is people with big frizzy hair being near me.
Its not that I am scared of hair, If i find a hair on me I usually dont care about it brush it off and move on with my life, but if I am seated near or standing near someone in a confined space who has big/long frizzy hair which looks like its gonna fly away any minute I feel gross and cant pay attention to anything other than their horrible hair.
I mean its quite disgusting to have hair that looks like it will attack passers by. Do something about it you ugly ugly people.
One of my friends has an unusual fear in that he is scared of ears. Or at least he is completely repulsed by them. He will become upset if you touch your ear around him or do anything that causes him to look at them. He is often seen sporting a hairdo that covers his ears up. I guess they are pretty weird lookin things but so are noses and arseholes.
The most entertaining fear that I have come across is my housemates fear of buttons. She is frightened to death of them. They make her dry wretch on occasion. Even the word scares her. I dont remember the story as to why she was scared of buttons in the first place but it happened at a young age and Im assuming it was something to do with her disgusting toilet habits.
One day I was in a video store and she was shutting down all of my suggestions on what to hire. So I asked her if we could hire this, she turned around and i licked my shirt button in front of her. She went completely white and looked like she was going to spew right there and then.
It was the greatest day of my life.
But its not that odd or interesting to be scared of spiders. Lots of people are, some much more than me. This one is about 'unusual fears'. For me my unusual fear is people with big frizzy hair being near me.
Its not that I am scared of hair, If i find a hair on me I usually dont care about it brush it off and move on with my life, but if I am seated near or standing near someone in a confined space who has big/long frizzy hair which looks like its gonna fly away any minute I feel gross and cant pay attention to anything other than their horrible hair.
I mean its quite disgusting to have hair that looks like it will attack passers by. Do something about it you ugly ugly people.
One of my friends has an unusual fear in that he is scared of ears. Or at least he is completely repulsed by them. He will become upset if you touch your ear around him or do anything that causes him to look at them. He is often seen sporting a hairdo that covers his ears up. I guess they are pretty weird lookin things but so are noses and arseholes.
The most entertaining fear that I have come across is my housemates fear of buttons. She is frightened to death of them. They make her dry wretch on occasion. Even the word scares her. I dont remember the story as to why she was scared of buttons in the first place but it happened at a young age and Im assuming it was something to do with her disgusting toilet habits.
One day I was in a video store and she was shutting down all of my suggestions on what to hire. So I asked her if we could hire this, she turned around and i licked my shirt button in front of her. She went completely white and looked like she was going to spew right there and then.
It was the greatest day of my life.
posted by matt at 4:07 PM
2 Comments:
marcin knows how to be a real man...
pound those spiders to death with your bare fists.
protect the women and children why don't you?!
ooookay... that whole button thing is BIZARRE. But I have a friend who is freaked the fuck out by cotton wool. COTTON WOOL. She can't handle the texture, apparently. When she was at boarding school some girls put cotton wool balls in her bed to shake her up, and she went spastic and vomited everywhere, and then had to change the sheets completely in case there were cotton wool fibres on it. True story.
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