Close but no cigar

Well the other day I came as close to my death as I probably have ever been. Well actually I have probably been a lot closer to being beaten to death several times in bars around town, but this time I had doctors actually concerned.

Turns out I am allergic to penicillin. And all of a sudden too cause Ive been taking it for years with no troubles. I went very red and puffy. My friend James walked me to the hospital and I gradually got more and more puffy and itchy. He kept my spirits up by singing songs about the fatherland, he has some sort of reggae fetish...but my spirits were soon trampled on when he mentioned that some shit oozing out of my eyes. I must have looked freaked out cause when I asked about it he pretended it wasnt really happening or something, but that only made me more concerned, like when a guy in a war movie has had his legs blown off and he asks his buddy if it looks bad, and his buddy lies to him to make his last moments on earth a bit nicer, 'nah youll be back home scoring touchdowns in a couple weeks'...20 seconds later that character is dead and the buddy is stealin his smokes.

Anyway the nurses and doctors rushed me through to emergency and took of my clothes to reveal my horrible red body, which is usually a horrible pale colour. They put things on and in me and made lie down and hooked me up to machines. It was a bit scary. I actually got scared when I saw how quickly they were reacting to me, Ive been in ER before and they treated me with a lot less concern as I was only semi-concussed, when I could see that they were actually worried about my well being I too became worried.

But it all only lasted about 30 minutes and after having been given a whole pile of drugs I got back my pale skin and just felt really drowsy. Plus the drip in my arm made it really saw and hard to move...specially when I was trying to get my mobile phone which the nurse had placed in my shoe in a bag under my bed. What they hell was he trying to do!? I had visions of being on one of those pranks shows, 'now lets watch as he tries to answer his mobile phone while being hooked up to all those wires and machines, we could say he's a little tied up!'

I was let out of hospital after about 5 hours or so, only to have to face a sober evening at home. No alcohol was allowed you see, something to do with my health....

Today at work we had a work experience kid in and I got the lucky job of 'supervising' him. It took me about 5 minutes to decide that I didn't like him.

He would only be abour 15 or 16 years old, I can tell that cause he had about 15-16 zits on his face, so I should give him some room for improvement, but damn that kid was dumb. Not in a slow way just in a sheltered stuck up little brat.

He liked telling me how he was a musician and how he played rock guitar, which he 'is pretty good at', he also happens to be 'really good' at physics and chemistry. 'Thats good' I told him. I'll tell ya one thing the kid aint good at, and that is fukin livin!

I asked him if he had a part time job or anything like that and he told me that he is pretty lazy and doesn't really wanna work. I said 'Yeah it can be pretty dull and boring'. He then looked at me very confused and said 'well why do you work then?' I could have gone on a whole rant about society and being a part of it, but instead I just said 'I need money to eat'.

In the words of Ianto Ware, DAMN RICHIES!!!

Never loose nuttin

Today one of my co-workers and I were chattin.
I made some small talk about how I lost my anti-biotics on the weekend. I made some funny voice and said, 'Im very good at loosing things'

He then responded by telling me that he NEVER looses anything. 'Not like all these people who loose their mobile phones, I always know where things are'.

What the hell is his trip? Seems kinda hard to believe. I don't really get that guy. He is strangely competitive...We are a odd bunch us men.

patch baggums

Well bald patches was back again...today she told me how she spewed all over some assignment she was writing. She then proceeded to make a hacking sound for about 2 minutes.

I need to get a new job.

Poker Poker Poker.

Recently I have been introduced to a lot of new people, all part of my quest to know everyone in Adelaide, I figure I will know them all in about 3 years time. Aaaaanyway, most of these people I am meeting are addicted to poker, or for those of you in the know, a form of poker called 'Texas Hold'em'.

Now don't get me wrong its quite an exciting game and is a lot of fun too play but I'm starting to get the feeling that these people are going too far. They have bought special tables and tiny video cameras to make it just like the real life major tournaments...some have even quit their jobs. Now this is borderline on obsessional. With each new tournament that come around another person looses $50. Its called an addiction, a gambling addiction.

I worry for these people...as with heroin addicts, people with these thirsts for some new high in life develop their own language, for example a heroin dealer will ask you if you 'are chasing' meaning 'do you want some heroin kind sir?' poker addicts also have their own lingo. The lingo is probably the scariest part of it all.

Expressions like 'on the button', 'down the river' and 'slap a jimmy' are all obvious terms used to help a fellow addict know how to get their next high. I don't know about you but the last time was 'on the button' I sure as hell didn't loose $50 for doing it. The toilet just flushed and I went on with my life.

Bagel or baggette

So on the way to work this morning I stopped in at a sort of cafe...ok it was a 24 hour convenience store. But I much prefer those places to cafes, they don't have the hoity toity atmosphere you get at say Cibo's.

One time I was at Cibo's on Rundle street and as I was walking out, I stress the word walking here as I was not 'rushing', the waitress spun round with and arm full of plates and cups and smashed them all into my chest. I was covered in coffee and glass. She quickly shouted to her boss who was glaring at her 'IT WAS HIS FAULT'. I was too busy picking the glass out of my pants to notice that I was gettin all the blame for this affair. What a jerk she was, I hope she got fired for forgetting to shave her moustache before going to work.

Anyway I digress...in the 'cafe' this morning I saw a lovely looking turkey bagel. I went to the counter and asked for a turkey baggette. The man said we only have chicken and ham, I was confused cause I could have sworn it was turkey but I decided I was wrong and said ok gimme the chicken....He then gave me a baggette. I was surprised as I was expecting some nice donut shaped boiled bread and instead I got this huge long roll. I said to the guy, 'umm....I asked for a baggette' and he said, 'yeah' this is a baggette. I immediately realized that I had confused baggette with bagel and took the baggette before embarrassing myself further in front of the people lining up...

Lucky I wasn't in Cibo's or I would have had plates thrown at my head for making such a faux par!